Got a Library Card

[Kypris]

This afternoon I had a meeting in Morby Centrum and then found myself with 17 minutes to kill till catching up with my Viking and heading home. After spending a good bit of them by hunting down the new powder rooms and locating a red skirt bargain in H&M I found myself in front of Danderyd Bibliotek -or such- and thought I could try it out since none of you is doing any book swaps this century.

I've looked around for a while past the ladies having fikas and the two goth teenages using what must have been free internet and found no big "To get a card and rent a book do the following" signs so I approached a lady in her 60s at the reception.

Me (smiling as warmly as possible): "Hello *broad non-threatening smile and pause for the penny to drop that this conversation needs to be in English but I won't offend her by asking if she speaks it which is preposterous to wonder of a librarian her age*I was wondering what it is that I must do to get a library card here.
Her: No answer. Nothing. Not a sound. However a lengthy up and down measuring look ending in a cocked head and a near imperceptible narrowing of the eyes. You know the kind, the sort that's awkward for long enough to make a Swede give up.
Me: *still smiling but for different reasons* A card to borrow books. Do you speak English?
Her: *Opens mouth and closes it*
Me: Forstör du Engelska? Jag behover...
Her: Yes I speak it.
Me: Oh good! Can I get a card please?
Her: No.
Me: Pardon? Why not?
Her: You need a Swedish special number.
Me: A Personnumer. Yes, I have one of course.
Her: And a Swedish ID.
Me: No problem.
Her: *Annoyed to high heaves* Fine! Register yourself on that computer and come back to me. You need the SFI books, right?
Me: Wrong. I need the English fiction section.

And so it went. I was not even really upset, just wondered if she she gave me the Uncomfortable-Stare-That-Will-Force-Retreat for 72 seconds and I was wearing a suit and evidently carrying my laptop in a bag, if I were a darker male in arbetskläder, what chances would I have to walk out of there with a card and any trace of dignity?

[Mimsie]

Wow!!

[infinity]

Be glad your not driving a car that once belonged to an undesirable like a 'black Nigerian'.

[Bonkaescafé]

Adolf may have died but, before he did, he had himself cloned in order to staff global library services.

[Kypris]

See I had no idea they were like that. I had thought these days they all look like this:



Then again that would have been an issue too.

[infinity]

Originally Posted by Kypris

Then again that would have been an issue too.

Maybe for you it would have been....

[Feste]

Interesting experience, I guess. I had a completely different one but it was coupled with SFI. The entire class was taken on a "field trip" to the library at Odenplan. We had a librarian patiently and clearly explain how libraries work, how to fill out the application form, issue library cards to all of us, give us a tour of the library and the newspaper section where we would find news in our native tongues if possible and then shook each of our hands and said she hoped to see us back soon.

It was a remarkable experience, and admittedly was done all in Swedish since it was part of our SFI class. Still, I can't help but think that you'd be better served at that library in the future. They were lovely people and incredibly welcoming and genuinely warm to us foreign types.

[Kypris]

That does sound like the opposite indeed. Even so Odenplan is far enough to make me get off libraries....

Besides I like it here! I will make it a definite point to annoy this woman. As I was leaving I even threatened her "Cheerio, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon!"

[Blitz]

Originally Posted by Kypris

That does sound like the opposite indeed. Even so Odenplan is far enough to make me get off libraries....

Besides I like it here! I will make it a definite point to annoy this woman. As I was leaving I even threatened her "Cheerio, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon!"

Bring her the picture you posted here. Hand it to her. In perfect Swedish say "Bara ett förslag." She'll never forget you. Hell, she may thank you.

[Kypris]

Originally Posted by Blitz

Bring her the picture you posted here. Hand it to her. In perfect Swedish say "Bara ett förslag." She'll never forget you. Hell, she may thank you.

Only one glitch. I can't do "perfect Swedish" under pain of death.

Also she is irrelevant, what's relevant is how she's brought out poems out of my talented friends. POEMS I tell you. She is the Librarian Muse.

[Blitz]

Originally Posted by Kypris

Only one glitch. I can't do "perfect Swedish" under pain of death.

Also she is irrelevant, what's relevant is how she's brought out poems out of my talented friends. POEMS I tell you. She is the Librarian Muse.

Haha, give her a copy, tell her she inspired it. You'll find out how good her english is.

[Kypris]

What is it with you and the faith in humanity FFS?!? I don't wanna engage her in any potentially redeeming fashion. I wanna annoy her, toy with her, at best ignore her and you want me to give her photos and poems....

[Blitz]

Originally Posted by Kypris

What is it with you and the faith in humanity FFS?!? I don't wanna engage her in any potentially redeeming fashion. I wanna annoy her, toy with her, at best ignore her and you want me to give her photos and poems....

I was trying to be mean and cruel! Dang, I just can't get the hang of it.

[Kypris]

Originally Posted by Blitz

I was trying to be mean and cruel! Dang, I just can't get the hang of it.

Stick with me grasshopper

[fondacey]

Kypris, you realize that you tipped the balance in the energy field of the library cosmos...that's why she so abrasive ;-) And if you find someone selling that skirt i want one.

[Ann]

Originally Posted by Kypris

This afternoon I had a meeting in Morby Centrum and then found myself with 17 minutes to kill till catching up with my Viking and heading home. After spending a good bit of them by hunting down the new powder rooms and locating a red skirt bargain in H&M I found myself in front of Danderyd Bibliotek -or such- and thought I could try it out since none of you is doing any book swaps this century.

I've looked around for a while past the ladies having fikas and the two goth teenages using what must have been free internet and found no big "To get a card and rent a book do the following" signs so I approached a lady in her 60s at the reception.

Me (smiling as warmly as possible): "Hello *broad non-threatening smile and pause for the penny to drop that this conversation needs to be in English but I won't offend her by asking if she speaks it which is preposterous to wonder of a librarian her age*I was wondering what it is that I must do to get a library card here.
Her: No answer. Nothing. Not a sound. However a lengthy up and down measuring look ending in a cocked head and a near imperceptible narrowing of the eyes. You know the kind, the sort that's awkward for long enough to make a Swede give up.
Me: *still smiling but for different reasons* A card to borrow books. Do you speak English?
Her: *Opens mouth and closes it*
Me: Forstör du Engelska? Jag behover...
Her: Yes I speak it.
Me: Oh good! Can I get a card please?
Her: No.
Me: Pardon? Why not?
Her: You need a Swedish special number.
Me: A Personnumer. Yes, I have one of course.
Her: And a Swedish ID.
Me: No problem.
Her: *Annoyed to high heaves* Fine! Register yourself on that computer and come back to me. You need the SFI books, right?
Me: Wrong. I need the English fiction section.

And so it went. I was not even really upset, just wondered if she she gave me the Uncomfortable-Stare-That-Will-Force-Retreat for 72 seconds and I was wearing a suit and evidently carrying my laptop in a bag, if I were a darker male in arbetskläder, what chances would I have to walk out of there with a card and any trace of dignity?

I'm smiling. They are funny here sometimes. As when I came with my Australian friend Lisa to a place downtown gbg called Jobbcentrum, because she needed their help with info about applying and starting ordinary Komvux.

Lisa's Swedish is perfect but I didn't know it takes 2 Swedes to tell the information. The lady we got as help to Lisa, never looked at Lisa and spoke AT her, she only looked at me and spoke TO me ... and only spoke to me in English, then pausing for me to translate it .... to English. So Lisa understood. And all this even if she heard I and Lisa spoke Swedish to eachother.

So Lisa had the same feeling of temporary loss of dignity as you mentioned and when we walked out of there we simply said in English, What a b* and then laughed.

Lisa didn't get much help from her anyway

[Zoot]

Originally Posted by fondacey

Kypris, you realize that you tipped the balance in the energy field of the library cosmos...that's why she so abrasive ;-) And if you find someone selling that skirt i want one.

Never mind my rep comment, I found it!

Naughty Librarian Costume

[fondacey]

* Available in adult sizes Small, Medium and Large.
* Pearl necklace not included.

hahahahaha

[infinity]

To hell with the costume, I want the model!

[Kypris]

Originally Posted by fondacey

* Available in adult sizes Small, Medium and Large.
* Pearl necklace not included.

hahahahaha

ROFL, they don't say!

Nonetheless I am skeptical, not sure about those titles, there are so much more appropriate ones.... And Short Stories by who?!?

Originally Posted by infinity

To hell with the costume, I want the model!

You know her boobs are fake, right?

[fondacey]

Originally Posted by Kypris

You know her boobs are fake, right?

You're kidding right? You think Mr. Infinity comes across as the kind of guy who is looking for a real woman?

[Kypris]

Originally Posted by fondacey

You're kidding right? You think Mr. Infinity comes across as the kind of guy who is looking for a real woman?

Heh I WAS in fact kidding.

[Mimsie]

Originally Posted by Kypris

...You know her boobs are fake, right?

Does anyone have real boobs anymore these days? Isn't fake the new "real"?

[Ann]

Originally Posted by Mimsie

Does anyone have real boobs anymore these days? Isn't fake the new "real"?

yeap they are all Belgian Blue

[ostmacka]

Originally Posted by fondacey

* Available in adult sizes Small, Medium and Large.
* Pearl necklace not included.

hahahahaha

guess you need help getting one of those

as for the snotty librarian - you should of asked her if they had any books about making bombs

[Zoot]

Originally Posted by ostmacka

guess you need help getting one of those

In that outfit, a guy will want to make you one.

Ok, this should be moved to Hell's Kitchen now.

[fondacey]

Like my diamonds, my pearls must be real...not the result of a lack of dick control (oops...yep straight to Hell's Kitchen now)

[Kypris]

Originally Posted by fondacey

Like my diamonds, my pearls must be real...not the result of a lack of dick control (oops...yep straight to Hell's Kitchen now)

Some would argue there's plenty of control to achieve the perfect piece of jewlery.

Has it been moved yet?!?

[José Maria]

Originally Posted by Kypris

Only one glitch. I can't do "perfect Swedish" under pain of death.

It doesn't need to be perfect. I'm actually suprised that you don't handle everyday situations in Swedish. Your English is good, so its not like Swedish is beyond you. You've been here long enough.

I don't think the librarian was being snotty. If someone askes for a social service in a foreign language, its not peculiar to wonder if that person actually has a personnumer. The hint about SFI books is just helpful advice.

[spïnäl täp]

Me: Oh good! Can I get a card please?
Her: No.
Me: Pardon? Why not?
Her: You need a Swedish special number.

That's not just wondering if a person has a personal number. A flat "no" like that is very bad form coming from a public employee, especially if it is based on discriminatory attitudes towards an obvious foreigner. Just wondering if a person has a personal number would have looked like this:

Me: Oh good! Can I get a card please?
Her: Do you have a Swedish personal number?
Me: Yes, I do!
Her: Good, then please fill in this...